so i decided to join this thing. i want writing to be as cathartic as it used to be. not a burden, like its actually been. i've picked up writing again. but in a book. with a pen. it's really humbling to realize you’ve forgotten how to write. hehe. but seriously, typing is veeery different from writing. but i find that writing for me is about the feeling of a good pen in my hand writing on good college ruled paper. it's more personal. i know i have no audience but myself and maybe my cats. freewriting is so important! it helps me focus and ramble and go off and insane tangents. hm, that's kind of oxymoronical. haha, great new word. anyway, oxymoron that i write for focus by using tangents. i guess it's more that i have too many thoughts wirling in my head, that sometimes, i'm overwhelmed by them. they become a tornado of thoughts in my tiny little brain, and i find comfort in the notion that when i'm writing about one specific thing, i can concentrate on that one thing until my hands finish getting the words onto the paper. does that make sense? does to me! =)
so i'm in a pickle with my career. i'm bouncing around the magazine world freelancing, and it's hard as feck. it's interesting to meet new peoples and learn new techniques to do the same thing, but man, it's tiring. i'm not myself when i first meet a coworker. i'm shy and timid. they don't see how friendly i really am. but then again, i'm not really being paid by the hour to make friends, am i? instead at this gig, i'm being paid to blog, for the first time in many many months. freelancing's weird.
ok, i'm done. gonna go take advantage of the cool coffee machine.
1 comment:
freelancing? that is soo cool! but i know exactly how you feel. I'm also very shy and timid in a new environment, so much so that it makes me dread changing jobs. but then, i'm scared of meeting new people all the time, so i guess it's not just the job.
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