a woman obsessed

i feel weird. i got an offer at a small company that i'd be perfectly fine with, and learn design and web, and have a stable enough of a schedule to take more classes. that would be a clear shift in my career. i'd be broadening my skills and opportunities for the future. the stress level would be manageable i think. I'm not 100% sure. overall though, sounds all good, right? vanity fair however is an opportunity of a different kind. it's vanity fuckin fair. it's prestigious just at face value. it's owned by one of the most well known publishing companies. i'd be production manager, with high levels of stress and some big people who i'd be easily intimidated by. but then again, when the need for confidence and firmness emerges, i rise to the occasion. and inversely, i lower my self-expectations when less is expected from me. meaning, i'm lazy when i'm allowed to be. i'd also be the head of a department. that scares and excites me at the same time. i'm obsessing is what i'm doing. i can't stop. aaaand, i'm done.